Adventures in the Night (not the kind you're thinking...)

Now go to sleep, or I shall have to summon the policeman!

 

My 5 yr old is quite the dreamer. 

I mean, quite the dreamer.

He often talks/shrieks/screams while he's in dreamland,

and he's been climbing down from a top bunk in his sleep since he was about 2.5 yrs old.

Last night was a doozy.

Bedtime...15 minutes later he comes out of the room wide awake.

"MOM. I can't sleep."

I assure him sleep is the wisest alternative of all the other options I have to offer, 

and he quickly returns to bed.

4 hours later, midnight.

One eye open, total bedhead, sleepwalking, he strolls back to where I'm on the computer.

Hands on his hips. Oh yes. 

"MOM."

"I TOLD YOU I COULDN'T SLEEP."

Back to bed.

3am. I wake up to him standing 6 inches from my face.

"MOM."

"My big teddy bear keeps waking me up. He is trying to push me off the bed.

I don't like him. You need to come talk to him."

Sigh......

Into his bedroom where the gigantic teddy bear (bigger than he is, no joke) 

looks to have been thrashed about quite wildy on the top bunk.

"Ok buddy, what do you want? Want to throw him off the bed?" 

"YES. Because he's being mean to me. Get off my bed, teddy bear."

Poor innocent teddy goes thump on the floor.

I always get blamed for everything.

Back to bed.

My dear son awakes around 7:30 am, rubbing his eyes and talking up a blue streak.

"MOM."

"In my dream, you told me to put my clothes on, and I didn't listen to you.
And I went to school and I was naked. And all the kids were laughing at me,

But I wasn't a big boy like I am now. I was a baby. I was a naked baby at school because I didn't listen to you telling me to put my clothes on. And then they picked up the naked baby-- that was me-- and put my clothes on. I didn't like that dream!"

Proof that naked dreams happen to preschool aged children. What researcher do I call with this valuable bit of knowledge?

Here's hoping the chamomile tea works tonight, because we'll all be turning in early!

A Woman for our times...

"A Renaissance Woman is the one who shows up after the battles and says, 

“Hey guys, let’s clean this mess up.” 

She teaches people new skills and cheers them up with her positive attitude. 

She says “bullshit” to power-tripping bullies and helpless victims alike, and uses her incredible crystal magnetism to comfort the fearful and get them to listen to reason. 

She can sail a ship, construct a building, and teach a new language in a single bound, 

through the powers of enthusiasm, humor, and politeness."

—from Perfectly Revolting

 So.

this weekend...

I repaired my own refrigerator

tried out a pole dancing fitness class

took my kids to a 5-year old's birthday party and a Native American Pow-Wow

danced til 2am at a friend's birthday party

dismantled the bathroom sink to rescue a lost earring

and prepped for an upcoming Shaklee Go Green event.

I believe that makes me an official modern-day "Renaissance Woman!"

Coming soon to a Men's Room near you....

The other day we went out to lunch, and I sent my 5 year old to the 

men's restroom to wash his hands.

A second later he comes bursting into the ladies room.

"MOM!"

"It smells reeeeeeaaallly bad in there!"

Pause.

"I guess they don't use Shaklee cleaners!"

(Ahhh. One of my proudest moments as a mother.)

Seriously, Dude

 

This morning's conversation with my 4-year old centered around what constitutes being a "Dude." With a minimal amount of protestation, he was convinced that "Real Dudes" brush their teeth, wear warm jackets, clean up their messes, and help their little sister get ready for school. 

Dude...did I miss something here? Should I be pursuing a career in politics???

 

Pregnancy, The Movie. Pregnancy, the Sequel. Roll Credits!

A couple of my friends are having babies.

They're at the stage where they just can't imagine getting any bigger, or how in God's name their skin could possibly stretch any further without bursting like a ripe melon.

Trust me, I know.

Both my kids decided to come 9 days post-due date.

It DOES feel humanly impossible to get any larger.

But you DO.

And it doesn't even get you into the Guiness Book of World Records.

I honestly thought I'd be pregnant forever. Haul those little buggers around for the next couple decades. Because when you're 9 months pregnant and past your due date, every day feels like several years.


I thought they'd just hang around being fed and watered, pop a hand out for their college degree and social security check, and that's that. Early retirement while Mom does all the work.

Don't worry, friends. They will come out sooner or later. In the meantime...

Make peace with stretch marks.

Beaches, Bachelors, and Bananas, Oh My!

 Whew!

Is it really August already?

Time funs when you're having flies, I guess...

Ok, so here's a quick recap of the past month:

Trip to Michigan was A-W-E-S-O-M-E. 

(Don't hate us because of our awesome tans)

Traveled up to Michigan with the kids and had an amazing time with my family...

 (somewhere in West Virginia, about 3am???)

We are what some people might consider abnormally close

for a family of nine kids, but it is  the most phenonemal experience on earth to travel with 

your brothers 

and sisters 

and their spouses

and neices

and nephews

(just shy of a mob)

 and enjoy 

every single moment 

of a family vacation!

(Did I just write a poem? Someone get back to me on that...)

A few highlights...

(Josiah and his favorite goddaughter-- oops, make that only goddaughter!)

(Ruthie PigFace Draper times two!)

(It only took 17 tries to get 4 wriggling kids to stand "still")

 

(I feel all sorts of awesome flying through the air in this picture)

(Who else waits on the side of the road for Pablos Tacos???)

(Warm summer evenings, singing and playing guitar & yukeleleeeeee)

 (Grandma's 80th bday! Why is she all by herself?!)

(It's illegal for cousins to procreate-- don't tell Jaxon he's adopted)

Major clean-up at my grandmas' house: 22 years worth of piled-up junk-- 

filled up a 15 foot dumpster and laughed/cried our way through the mess.
(Thanks, P90X, it was awfully fun pulling up that carpet in the basement...NOT.)

(Matt, Marta, Cousin Eric, & Josiah: Tell me how you really feel about it)

(MONSTER SAND CASTLES. 'Nuff said.)

Then we rewarded ourselves with a magical day at the beach and turtle sundaes afterwards...

Reconnecting with aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, friends I haven't seen in 

five years. Introduced my kids and met cousins I've never seen before. 

Cried buckets leaving. Family ties are so important!

(I know we're related, but who are you?)

 17-hour drive home was a bit tedious! But with Shaklee energy tea and a good (belch) breakfast at Bob Evans somewhere in West Virginia, we managed to make it.

(Wish I was 2 again)

Let's see...what else???

Kids are wild, as usual! Serginho has been at YMCA camp where he swims, dances, does crafts and generally charms everyone within a 12-foot radius. 

(Wait, wait, that is NOT the right picture! I'm firing my agent!)

 We've been following The Bachelorette religiously (it's the only show I watch) 

and I'm concerned that my 4 year old is definitely might just be addicted. 

(He's on Team Chris, by the way, because Chris rocks that mohawk. 

(And that's the #1 quality we look for  in a husband.)

And while we're on the subject of pop culture, might I just say that Ali is an idiot for not 

picking Chris and I'm quite certain I think our entire family has 

a gigantic slight crush on him. Seriously, people. How can you NOT? 

("Here's your parting gift, guys, and thanks for playing You can all go home now".)

But when we're in the checkout line at the grocery story and Serginho sees The Bachelorette covers and begins recounting all of the last week's episodes including the names of the competing Bachelors and the locations they've visited??? The other people in line do give me the stink-eye. 

Ok, so maybe I should get my 4-year old in bed a little earlier and not allow him to watch the multiple hot tub and make-out and drinking sessions quality male/female interactions on The Bachelorette. ("I like you. I like you too! You're hot. No, YOU'RE hot! Let's get married! Ok! Etc, etc.) 

But when you've got two kids, a busy family and two businesses under one roof...well, 

any time becomes Family Time!

(Mom, what's an overnight date?)

Natalia...wow. She keeps me on my toes. Let's see, what has she been up to? 

I have pretty much stopped potty-training for now.

I put her on the potty for a while, then  five minutes later she pees in her high chair 

and THEN she runs to the bathroom. 

Am I training her that first you pee all over everything 

and then go sit on the potty just for the heck of it? Decided to wait a bit longer.

(But Mom, I already peed on the floor and all the toys in my room! Why do I have to sit here?)

One day she was very quiet for a little while and I found her sitting on the kitchen table...

having unpeeled a dozen bananas in the fruitbowl.

(Dang, I wish I'd gotten an actual photo of the banana carnage!)

Another day I found her rifling through the yet-unpacked suitcases, next to a nearly empty package of Shaklee Mighty Smarts (DHA fish oil) chews and looking like a squirrel with a winter's worth of nuts in her cheeks. I looked around and only saw two wrappers on the floor and thought, "Whew, that was a close one." THEN I looked in the package of chews and saw she had already worked her way through half a dozen of them and the little stinker put all the wrappers back in the package! 

I was a little concerned about how much fish oil a child should consume in one day, 

but since it's Shaklee and brain food I didn't worry too much. Of course, she was fine, but in retrospect I should have used THAT DAY she overdosed on brain food to try potty-training again! 

Maybe she would have gotten the hang of it?

(Get this party started, Mom, I potty-trained myself in an hour and a half!)

 A few days later I found Natalia had taken all the backs off  the remote controls, removed the batteries and hid them in various places around the living room.

And then she walked in the room with diaper cream smeared from her toes to the top of her head-- I think she believes it's sunscreen. (Again, thank goodness it's Shaklee because I know its non-toxic and safe!) 

And she pulled out all 250 baby wipes from a brand-new package in the diaper bag. 

And she found a purple marker and drew all over the carpet in the living room that we'd just powerwashed. 

And...that's all for the Natalia update! (Isn't it enough? I'm exhausted just 

looking for more photos to illustrate the chaos!)

Last week I had the UH-MAZING experience of traveling to California to visit Shaklee HQ in San Francisco and then driving down the Pacific Coast Highway to Anaheim for the 2010 Shaklee Global Conference. There are waaaaaaaay too many stories to fit into this post, so I'll dedicate the next one to that update. Let's just say I'm more excited than ever about the possibilities of creating a business with Shaklee, helping people, and making a great income at the same time. Live the dream, share the dream!

(Part of The Hot Posse at the Final Night GALA)

Well, folks, is that enough for now?

I'll be back regularly starting this week, thanks for keeping up with me!