Hooked on Mozart-- I highly recommend it!

 On the way to preschool this morning my 5 yr old asked for music on the radio. I flipped through various pop stations until he said, "Mom, not those songs. I want the music that makes me feel nice and calm!" I turned it to WCPE and he sighed and snuggled into his carseat. "Yeah, Mom...that's it." 

Thanks, WCPE, I'll be a supporter forever!

http://www.theclassicalstation.org/

Adventures in the Night (not the kind you're thinking...)

Now go to sleep, or I shall have to summon the policeman!

 

My 5 yr old is quite the dreamer. 

I mean, quite the dreamer.

He often talks/shrieks/screams while he's in dreamland,

and he's been climbing down from a top bunk in his sleep since he was about 2.5 yrs old.

Last night was a doozy.

Bedtime...15 minutes later he comes out of the room wide awake.

"MOM. I can't sleep."

I assure him sleep is the wisest alternative of all the other options I have to offer, 

and he quickly returns to bed.

4 hours later, midnight.

One eye open, total bedhead, sleepwalking, he strolls back to where I'm on the computer.

Hands on his hips. Oh yes. 

"MOM."

"I TOLD YOU I COULDN'T SLEEP."

Back to bed.

3am. I wake up to him standing 6 inches from my face.

"MOM."

"My big teddy bear keeps waking me up. He is trying to push me off the bed.

I don't like him. You need to come talk to him."

Sigh......

Into his bedroom where the gigantic teddy bear (bigger than he is, no joke) 

looks to have been thrashed about quite wildy on the top bunk.

"Ok buddy, what do you want? Want to throw him off the bed?" 

"YES. Because he's being mean to me. Get off my bed, teddy bear."

Poor innocent teddy goes thump on the floor.

I always get blamed for everything.

Back to bed.

My dear son awakes around 7:30 am, rubbing his eyes and talking up a blue streak.

"MOM."

"In my dream, you told me to put my clothes on, and I didn't listen to you.
And I went to school and I was naked. And all the kids were laughing at me,

But I wasn't a big boy like I am now. I was a baby. I was a naked baby at school because I didn't listen to you telling me to put my clothes on. And then they picked up the naked baby-- that was me-- and put my clothes on. I didn't like that dream!"

Proof that naked dreams happen to preschool aged children. What researcher do I call with this valuable bit of knowledge?

Here's hoping the chamomile tea works tonight, because we'll all be turning in early!

A Woman for our times...

"A Renaissance Woman is the one who shows up after the battles and says, 

“Hey guys, let’s clean this mess up.” 

She teaches people new skills and cheers them up with her positive attitude. 

She says “bullshit” to power-tripping bullies and helpless victims alike, and uses her incredible crystal magnetism to comfort the fearful and get them to listen to reason. 

She can sail a ship, construct a building, and teach a new language in a single bound, 

through the powers of enthusiasm, humor, and politeness."

—from Perfectly Revolting

 So.

this weekend...

I repaired my own refrigerator

tried out a pole dancing fitness class

took my kids to a 5-year old's birthday party and a Native American Pow-Wow

danced til 2am at a friend's birthday party

dismantled the bathroom sink to rescue a lost earring

and prepped for an upcoming Shaklee Go Green event.

I believe that makes me an official modern-day "Renaissance Woman!"

Coming soon to a Men's Room near you....

The other day we went out to lunch, and I sent my 5 year old to the 

men's restroom to wash his hands.

A second later he comes bursting into the ladies room.

"MOM!"

"It smells reeeeeeaaallly bad in there!"

Pause.

"I guess they don't use Shaklee cleaners!"

(Ahhh. One of my proudest moments as a mother.)

Seriously, Dude

 

This morning's conversation with my 4-year old centered around what constitutes being a "Dude." With a minimal amount of protestation, he was convinced that "Real Dudes" brush their teeth, wear warm jackets, clean up their messes, and help their little sister get ready for school. 

Dude...did I miss something here? Should I be pursuing a career in politics???

 

Pregnancy, The Movie. Pregnancy, the Sequel. Roll Credits!

A couple of my friends are having babies.

They're at the stage where they just can't imagine getting any bigger, or how in God's name their skin could possibly stretch any further without bursting like a ripe melon.

Trust me, I know.

Both my kids decided to come 9 days post-due date.

It DOES feel humanly impossible to get any larger.

But you DO.

And it doesn't even get you into the Guiness Book of World Records.

I honestly thought I'd be pregnant forever. Haul those little buggers around for the next couple decades. Because when you're 9 months pregnant and past your due date, every day feels like several years.


I thought they'd just hang around being fed and watered, pop a hand out for their college degree and social security check, and that's that. Early retirement while Mom does all the work.

Don't worry, friends. They will come out sooner or later. In the meantime...

Make peace with stretch marks.